From the Mailbag…

For some reason or another, I’ve gotten a good bit of mail in the last week and a half. I wanted to share with you a few of the goodies.

First, “Ben” asks:

Are you an intern?

No.

If you’re asking because you’re interested in becoming a target for the delightful parlor game, stripper-or-intern?™, I recommend convincing your parents to donate at least three gobs of money to your representative or at least seven gobs to your senator. If you’re interested in further reading on the local intern scenesters (or “internsters”), check out the DC Interns blog. Lots of invigorating Clif Shot Bloks-sized morsels of fun there.

Quick-camera “Reid” sent me a couple of lovely shots of lockjobs in and around our fair capital. Have a look at this Trek:

It's a good thing thieves don't have opposable thumbs.

It's a good thing thieves don't have opposable thumbs.

The thing about a quick release is that the “quick” doesn’t just apply to you, nor does it cease to be “quick” when the release is out of your line of vision. Our Trekker is clearly acknowledging the substantial and superior value of a Bontrager front wheel and the unabashed worthlessness of all other parts on a Trek bicycle.

Before we look at the next photo submitted by our intrepid street scout, let’s do an exercise. This is a picture of a bicycle with parts labeled in Esperanto, so as not to alienate any segments of my reading audience:

Diagramo de biciklo

Diagramo de biciklo

This, on the other hand, is a rocket ship. The parts are unlabeled, because it’s a rocket ship. The parts can be whatever you want them to be.

Rocket ship!

Rocket ship!

Good. We’ve completed the first two phases of our exercise. Now for the “ask” portion of our “thought experiment.”

These only exist in Fantasy Land. And Washington.

These only exist in Fantasy Land. And Washington.

What, praytell, is this? It’s clearly neither completely bicycle, nor completely rocket ship. I propose to you that we’ve discovered a new species in Phylum Birota, Bicyclus Rocketshippicus, or in common terms, the Rockcycle. I hope to see many more of these in the future, which is where the Rockcycle came from.

So I’ve gotten emails inquiring as to my profession and with delightful little pictures like “Reid”‘s, but I’ve still not seen one about the super secret squirrel unlicensed “urban cross” race in DC I alerted you to only a few weeks ago. If you hear anything about it, or if you’ve got anything else to shout at me, just email me. Remember, it’s bikesnobdc@the only email server people still use.

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