What’s with all these hipsters on track bikes?

What’s with all these dudes in brown flip flops?

I know this is old, but I swear it’s relevant. The Arlington-types in Remy’s rap are in all of our cities. They’ve all got brown flip flops. There are also hipsters in all of our cities. Just yelp “hipster” and “taco” and you’ll know where to find them. These hipsters also ride bikes. They also blog, most of the time about their bikes (see Trackosaurus Rex, the Bike Snob NYC, and my personal favorite, Hipster Nascar–you know, go fast, turn left). Even the most obnoxious of the hipsters are rocking super fresh classic rides. Take this Nashville hipster, below.

Notice the jorts.

Notice the jorts.

The lopsided jorts, mussed hair, gas station Wayfarers… this is a hipster alright, and he’s purchased a bicycle that could well have gone to this guy, or maybe this chick.

Back to the point though, where did these hipsters get the idea to ride bikes? Then where did they get the idea to ride track bikes (or “fixies,” making said track bike-riding hipsters “fixters”)? And when did they start racing on them? Again, see Hipster Nascar. Is it because of characters like the late, great, Sheldon Brown, who exalted the utter simplicity of fixed gear bicycles? Probably not.

In my heart of hearts, I imagine that the trend began in San Francisco, one of the hilliest and hipsteriest of the Land of the Free’s cities.

San Fran hipsters forgetting the importance of pale skin to hipster credibility

San Fran hipsters forgetting the importance of pale skin to hipster credibility

Just follow my logic for a moment. Track bikes are built and configured to ride on flat land. How many velodromes have hills on them? All of the velodromes in DC (0), that’s how many. Bicycles that are built for climbing have all kinds of gear ratios (mmm… that 34×27 gear ratio is like taking shots of room temperature water). That would make climbing SF’s hills a wholly impractical proposition on a fixie. Perfect. Just look at the hipsters below…

I am a hipster sleeper-in, ironically celebrating Pajama Wednesday.

I am a hipster sleeper-in, ironically celebrating Pajama Wednesday.


I am a hipster cowgirl, ironically herding my cattle.

I am a hipster cowgirl, ironically herding my cattle.

Hipster culture thrives on the irrational. And the expensive, but that’s a different story.

Maybe that’s why you people ride them.

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One Response to What’s with all these hipsters on track bikes?

  1. […] your Prius the one and a quarter miles to Trader Joe’s, you could’ve crashed on a new fixie on the way […]

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